How to Talk to Your Partner About Lube

Lubricant helps with vaginal dryness


By Hillary Quinn 

Let's talk about personal lubricant...

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LEGIT REASONS women need a little extra lubrication down there... and only one of them has to do with having a headache. Like: menopause, illness, medication, breastfeeding, and naturally-occurring dips in libido. Talking with your partner about vaginal dryness, however, can be as uncomfortable as the condition itself. “The difficulty here is that a lot of men-and women-associate being excited with lubrication; so if it’s not happening, your partner might be thinking, “If she wants me, she’d be wet right now,”” says Dr. Pepper Schwartz, acclaimed sociologist and author of 50 Great Myths of Human Sexuality.

TALKING IT OUT IS KEY. Figuring out what to say without turning 50 shades of red…not so easy. “It’s important to find artful ways to separate the function from the emotion,” says Dr. Schwartz, who advises starting your “chat” outside bedroom. Here are some lines to get the conversation flowing….

  • “I want you and I want to enjoy every little moment together. Lube will help me tonight…a lot.”
  • “My body’s not cooperating the way it used to. I’m really dry and uncomfortable, and will enjoy this a whole lot more if we use some lubrication.”
  • “We’re not reading in bed this evening…I have an idea that could be really fun for us.”
  • “I’ve got something I’m excited to try with you. Wait ‘til you feel this!”
  • “When you see lube on the bedside table, you’ll know I’m ready for you.”

Whatever you say, be brave…and prepare yourself for an enthusiastic response to the conversation. “No one’s going to say, “What a bummer,” explains Dr. Schwartz. “The more likely response will be, Bring it on!””


Hillary Quinn is a national lifestyle writer, whose work has appeared in many magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Good Housekeeping, and Brides

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1 comment

Amen! Thank you for warming our world!


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